Home from the Hospital

On the morning of Tuesday July 29, 2014 they told my Mom she could go home from the hospital. She was more than ready.

I arrived to the hospital early afternoon. I had bought her new sandals because none of her shoes fit her anymore because her legs were so swollen. Aunt Pat had already packed most of her things up. The nurse and the case manager kept coming in with information for discharge.

Her potassium was low that morning so the nurse brought her some liquid potassium. Potassium is bad no matter how you take it, the liquid tastes awful, the pills are huge, and IV burns. It was only moments after drinking it my Mom screamed and spit it out. Her mouth, oh no her mouth, I had completely forgotten about all the sores in her mouth. She cried from the pain. The nurse apologized profusely, my Mom told her it was okay. I felt bad for not even thinking about her mouth because I could've prevented this.

Things calmed down a bit and Mom was ready to go. I flagged down the nurse to come back and take her IV out and then I went downstairs to get the car. I missed a voicemail from her asking me what entrance I was going to be at. I still have that voicemail as well as 6 others that I'd saved since she was diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes I listen to them just to hear my Mom's voice.

I pulled up to the main entrance and she was wheeled out pretty soon. She got in the car and looked relieved. She took a deep breath. She turned and looked at me and said, "I feel too good to be dying!" I smiled.

We stopped at McDonald's on the way home and she got a vanilla milkshake. We hoped it'd make her mouth feel better. We pulled in to her apartment parking lot and Aunt Pat met us at the car with Mom's new wheelchair. I pushed her up through the walkway to her apartment. I took this picture.

We walked inside and got things settled. She wanted to sit outside for awhile so Mom, Aunt Pat, and I went out to sit on her patio. Mom came out with her walker, but also with her cane. I did not ask why. We sat outside and chatted a bit. Things felt a little uncomfortable and there was silence at times. She decided to go back in without her walker or cane. She started to walk in and said, "I'll come back for that later." Aunt Pat and I just looked at each other. It was only a couple seconds of her walking into her apartment that she crumpled to the floor. I did not scold her or tell her she should've known better. I knew she knew better but telling her would've only made things worse. I knew she was embarrassed. She said it herself that it was a dumb thing to do and she guessed she'd learned her lesson. 

She was home, but things weren't the same. The infection was gone, but she was weaker. Her mind was not as sharp. She was different. I was glad to have her home from the hospital but again I felt another door close behind us. It was another thing to check off on Mom's cancer journey. We did the hospital thing once and I had a feeling she'd never go back. 

The next day I called an elder law attorney to help us draw up a will, designate her power of attorney and get everything in order. We needed to devise a plan. I also called a funeral home and set up an appointment for us to go and make her final arrangements.