Attorney

On Wednesday August 13, 2014 I took my Mom to an elder law attorney. I knew about them from working in geriatrics and I thought they would be the best fit for my Mom's needs. I set this appointment up for her as it wasn't at the top of her "To Do" list. She didn't think she was going to die. She probably thought she could do this later when she felt better. It always amazes me how how quickly in my life my Mom went from parenting me to me parenting her so to speak. I had only moved out of my parents' house eight years ago. The time passed far too quickly.  My Dad and his wife had come into town that weekend for his wife's high school reunion.  He had just gotten into town the prior Saturday and after I had said goodbye to Aunt Pat I had the urge to try to find him. I drove around Muncie looking for his car hoping to surprise him, hoping to connect with a parent that was still able to act as a parent to me. I needed that. I found them and hugged him and introduced them to Lydia. I did not tell my Mom he was in town, that was stress no one needed.

The last will my Mom and Dad had put together was when my brothers and I were little children and she needed a new one. More importantly I wanted her to create a living will and designate powers of attorney and health care representatives. These are actually very important documents for anyone to have, Spencer and I need to set them up ourselves. It is important for people to designate who they want to make decisions for them if they are unable to do so. It doesn't automatically default to your spouse, children, parent, you have to elect them. If you don't and you are unable to make decisions for yourself or you pass your family will likely be on the difficult road of navigating the court system. You always think you have more time until you don't have time. My Mom didn't have more time.

I had gone to Muncie the night before to pick her up and drive her back to Noblesville. I had picked an attorney close to me in case I was able to move her in with me the attorney would be easily accessible for future needs. This turned out late to be a poor decision on my part. I should've picked someone in Muncie, but I didn't know what the future would bring.

We ate at MCL in Muncie Mall before we headed to Noblesville. She ate the first full meal in over a month. Her mouth was finally healing.

Before the attorney appointment my Mom spent some time playing with Amelia. 

This is the last photo I have of Amelia and my Mom together. 

We arrived to the attorney's office and I put my Mom's walker to the side and helped my Mom up the steps. I thought it odd an elder law attorney's office would have steps to the entrance. 

We went over with the attorney what my Mom needed done. My Mom did not have much to her estate, there really wasn't any. My Mom would leave it up to us to divide what was left of her worldly possessions. To my surprise and relief my Mom had already set up quite a few things. She had already changed the beneficiaries on all of her insurance policies and 401k to myself or my brother's and I. I was elected as her power of attorney and her health care representative with my brothers as back up. For whatever reason my Mom needed to list her living grandchildren. She named them, "Graison, Lucas, Liam, Noelle, Amelia, and Lydia." The attorney paused and had her relist them. She remarked at what beautiful names they were. 

The attorney brought up assisted living facilities which would truly have been the best living place for my Mom. She couldn't afford them. The attorney suggested applying for Medicaid. My Mom looked a little taken aback. I reassured her that Medicaid was not just for "poor" people especially not when it comes to the older adult population. The types of facilities many older adults require are too expensive for even the middle class to afford. Working in theses facilities I knew the price tag was somewhere from $5,000-10,000 a month. It seems odd to say that living in a nursing home is truly a luxury not afforded to many, but without Medicaid, it becomes nearly impossible. This is very very sad. I wish we had a way to take care of our elderly population better. Even more difficult was the fact that I knew very few assisted living facilities accepted Medicaid. I knew of a handful in Marion County, I didn't know of any in Muncie. We still decided to go ahead and have her draw up that paperwork. 

We felt satisfied when we left and I felt some relief. The afternoon was not cheap, my Mom had written them a check for $1500, but we felt it was worth it. Afterward we looked for a restaurant to eat at, we ended up at Fazoli's. I don't think I've been there since. 

We were scheduled to return in about 3 weeks after the paperwork had been drawn up so she could sign everything. We never made it back to that appointment. It was too late.