Sean and his family were flying in that day. Mom woke up at one point that morning and I repeated this news to her as I had told her the night before. "Am I really that bad Danielle?" she asked. I told her that they just really wanted to see her.
I talked to my brother Sean on the phone before writing tonight's post and he recounted the details of his experience to me. He told me Wednesday he had been at work at Humboldt University as a groundskeeper. He was mowing the lawns when I called to tell him I thought Mom only had 24-48 hours left. He had been talking to Teal as they debated what to do thinking about the drive, the cost, leaving their jobs suddenly, the kids, the dogs. He thought about the fact that he last talked to Mom on the phone, that was their last conversation. It didn't seem right that it end like that. He stopped mowing and began talking to a friend of his that worked in human resources. He told her what was going on and the turmoil he was experiencing. She told him, "Well, you only have one Mom." It started to rain which was surprising, it had not rained since last winter, they were in a drought. It started pouring. He could not mow. Sean and Teal decided at that point they needed to go. They got the kids and went home and packed up the kids and dropped the dogs off at friends. They left in the early evening and began the 5 hour drive to San Francisco. It continued to pour and the drive was treacherous as they traveled down the 101 through the forest and mountains. They could barely see. He remembers that the rain had stopped before they got to San Francisco and how beautiful the city looked at night as the drove in over the Golden Gate bridge. San Francisco was one of Mom's favorite cities. They pulled into the long term parking at the airport and they moved the luggage around and slept in the back of the van Wednesday night. They flew out early Thursday morning.
Thursday morning my Mom's friend Ella Mae came over bringing us food so there would be stuff to eat when Sean and his family arrived. I wondered if Aunt Pat had asked her to do this. Aunt Pat hadn't been able to come yet because she had to have a medical procedure. Ella Mae and I chatted in the kitchen and she was telling me about how the surgeon she used to work for Dr. Ansari was so ill. I believe he had Parkinson's as well as the dementia that comes with that. I think he may have been around Mom's age. He passed less than a month after her. Life is so short.
Spencer and Amelia came to get the breastmilk for Lydia I'd pumped and to bring the car seats so I could put them in Mom's car for Sean's kids to use. I remember Ella Mae joking as I was packing up all the bags of milk into the cooler if I thought I had enough. I knew it wasn't enough, it was never enough.
Pretty soon, there were a lot of people in Mom's apartment. Mom's friends came over, they wanted to clean out her fridge and freezer as there was so much leftover food and things that would never be eaten. I joked that as soon as they did that Mom would surely want something from there. Pastor Tim came and prayed for Mom and all of us. I believe it was that morning too that Mom's old neighbor from Woodbridge Cristie came over to see Mom. She had tears in her eyes as she finished up her conversation with Mom and said goodbye.
The hospice aide came and Mom got up. She was agreeable to getting cleaned up and the aide took her back to her bathroom. Amelia had sprawled out on Mom's living room carpet with all the toys Mom kept for the kids there. I went out to get the car out of the garage but couldn't find the opener. My Mom seemed to be in her own world at that time, but surprisingly I asked her where the opener was and she was accurately able to tell me where it was. I went out and put the car seats in.
Carly called and told me that she would most definitely be coming to stay with me that night and however long I needed. She was going to drive to Indianapolis to pick up Sean and Teal and the kids at the airport and would bring them back to the apartment and then would stay with me. I was so relieved.
Mom and the aide came back out from the bathroom. I asked the aide if Mom had voided. She said, "Yes, small, dark," and I nodded. Spencer and Amelia got ready to leave and I told Amelia to say bye to Mams. To my surprise she ran up to Mom in the recliner and jumped in her lap and gave her a big hug and a kiss. I was surprised, Mom did not look like the Mams she knew. If Amelia had been any older, I think she would've been scared of Mom, but she ran and embraced her with her childhood innocence.
They soon left and Sharon came as well as our family friend Barb from First Baptist. Sharon told me I should get out of the house for a little while, get some air. I decided to take her up on it and go to Target. Before I left Mom thought it was funny that Sharon and Barb were wearing very similar outfits and that they looked like twins. She instructed me to take a picture with my phone. After I took their picture, Mom looked at Sharon and said, "Would you please take a picture of me and my caregiver?" And so we took a picture. Our last picture together.
I left and went to Target. I stared and stared at the picture. Mom looked so different. I wanted to post it to Facebook, but I didn't know if I should. I bought a little jacket and hairbrush for my niece Noey and a vest for my nephew Liam. I worried it might be colder than they expected being from California. I stopped at the hospital to get more of the kits to clean Mom's mouth out with and to keep it moist. I sat in the parking lot and called Dad. He answered hesitantly and I told him everything was okay, Mom was still here and he breathed a sigh of relief.
I came back to the apartment and Sharon left. Sean and family had arrived in town and were going to get settled in the hotel first. I told them to give me about 15 minutes notice so I could make sure was cleaned up and ready to see them.
They all soon arrived with Carly behind them. Mom was surprised. She just stared in wonderment. Sean and Teal dropped their bags and sat down on the floor at my Mom's feet by the recliner. Teal had been called on the way to Muncie and had been told she was being offered a job at Berkeley. It was an extraordinary opportunity for her that she had interviewed for the previous week. She and Sean were ecstatic. They excitedly told Mom the news. Mom told Teal that she was just amazing. She kept telling them over and over that they were amazing, that this was just amazing that they were here.
Mom told me to come to her and she could hardly make out her words, but she was pointing to the freezer. She told me to check what was in the freezer so that we all could have some dinner. Of course. She was hospitable to the end. I told her Ella Mae had brought over food so we were okay. I hoped she wouldn't press it any further since the freezer had been cleared out.
I asked her if she'd like something to eat and she said yes. I made her some chicken broth and tried to give it to her, but she gagged on it. It was too hard for her to eat. She was aspirating. Teal gave her some sips of tea.
We all ate dinner except Sean, he stayed on the floor right beside Mom holding her hand.
After dinner, the kids were playing around. I was sitting on the couch and Liam squealed his happy scream. Mom looked at me wide eyed. I knew the sound must have been so intense to her. I told Sean I thought it was probably time for them to go and he agreed.
I had thought about it while they were there and I'd decided that on Friday I was going to go back to Noblesville for a bit. I had been gone a week and I knew there would be tons of laundry to do and I needed to get some things for myself. But mainly, I wondered if Mom was hanging on for me. Maybe...maybe she needed me to leave. So, I asked Sean and Teal if it would be okay if I left the next day for a few hours. Teal and the kids could come too and play with Amelia. Sean would stay with Mom. They agreed it was best.
They soon left and Carly and I got Mom ready for bed. Surprisingly she was stronger than she had been and she moved easily with us to the wheelchair, to the commode, and to the bed. We laid her down and Carly got ready for bed too. Carly came out and I told her I had been sleeping in the recliner, she could sleep in Mom's bed. She told me that I needed a good night's sleep and I should take the bed. I did not protest, it would be nice to sleep in a bed in a dark room instead of in the recliner with the living room lit up as Mom liked it.
Mom had fallen asleep, but before I went to bed I kneeled down beside her and whispered to her that it was okay for her to go. We loved her so much, but it was okay, she needed to go on home.
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